A Teary Last

Karlee turned 18 months old yesterday. I absolutely cannot believe it. She is growing and changing every day. She talks non-stop and you can actually understand pretty much everything she says (at least I can!) She's putting three word sentences together and sounds so grown sometimes when she talks. She is now telling us when she has a "poopy" and walks up the stairs to her room for a diaper change; she tries to climb in her highchair when she's ready to eat; she's for the most part feeding herself with a spoon or fork; she says "baff, night, night mommy" and heads up the stairs at night when she's ready for a bath and bed. She also waves and blows kisses to Bubba the Bear as she heads up the stairs saying "night, night" to him too!



The bedtime routine brings me to the part I'm so teary about. Our nights follow a pretty strict routine of dinner, play time, bath, pj's, dry hair, bottle, and bed. Karlee knows the routine and can tell you which step we're on when we ask her.





After drying her hair, she starts saying "bottle" because she knows that is next. Well, with a tear flowing, we are no longer on bottles. She's been on one bottle a day for quite a while now. I just couldn't give up that last bottle of the day yet. That's my quiet time with Karlee that I cherish so much. Chip and I had decided when we ran out of bottle liners (we use Playtex nurser bottles for those of you that don't know what liners are), that we would buy no more. That would be the end of bottles. It was a total coincidence that we just so happened to run out of liners on the night of turning 18 months old. I mean, what are the odds.

I was teary last night as I read Karlee her prayer book while she drank what she doesn't know was her last bottle. I can only imagine what tonight will be like when she says "bottle" and we don't give her one. She didn't use the bottle to go to sleep so I'm not worried about her sleeping. She's always awake when I lay her in the crib.

After a night of thinking "oh my goodness, my baby is growing up too fast", when we walk into the nursery at church this morning, Miss Carmita asks how old Karlee is now. I told her 18 months, and she said we had to move her up to the next class. I had so much going through my head already about not having a baby anymore and now I was hit with another fact that she is getting older. After finding out that she just turned 18 months yesterday, Miss Carmita decided that Karlee could stay in her room until September when the classes changed for the year anyway.

I guess I'm a little emotional about so much with Karlee changing because Chip and I are totally undecided about having anymore children. We know we don't want another child any time soon, but we just can't decide if we want another child ever. But, with everything we do with Karlee for the last time, it makes me wonder if I'm really ready to not do this ever again. Most of my friends are pregnant right now with their first and second children. When I felt little Bradley Wilson's foot move in Ali's belly yesterday, it brought back those memories of carrying a child. Those little movements are the only thing I miss about being pregnant.

Chip and I are so blessed to have such an amazing child that fills our heart with so much love and joy every day. We can't fathom spreading that love and joy between another child. I know those of you out there with more than one child probably think we are crazy. But, we ask ourselves several times a week if we are a two child family. That question is still left blank.....



Look at these bangs. They are so long, but do I cut them or let them grow? Oh heavens, I'm so not ready to make that decision yet. Too much is coming at me at once here. I'm definitely not ready for my baby's first haircut yet.