A Heartbreaking Start to the New Year

As everyone was celebrating the start of a new year, I was watching my first baby go down hill in health rather quickly. A few months ago, Sable started losing patches of hair all along her back. One spot on her side was completely bald. I knew something was wrong but was in denial. I could not handle any bad news about her during Christmas. But, every day, I watched her struggle to stand and even had to carry her up the stairs on the back porch after she went to the bathroom. Some days she would not eat anything (normally she scarfs food down the minute it hits her bowl). But, she was drinking water all day and every time we turned around her huge water bowl was empty.

New Year's Eve, Chip said I was finally going to have to break down and take Sable to the vet. I was just putting off the inevitable. I decided to not take her on Monday since Karlee was still out of school for Christmas break. Taking both girls with me to the vet not knowing what was going to end up happening just wasn't something I was going to tackle alone. So, Tuesday morning, January 3, I loaded Sable up with me and took her to the vet on my way to work. They were going to run a few tests and call me when they had some answers. I cried the entire way to the vet's office and lost it when I was telling Dr. Carson what her symptoms had been. I knew deep down that I was losing my baby.

I was a nervous wreck all morning. The dreaded call came around 11:00. Sable was in liver failure and we only had one option. I called Chip with the news (totally surprised he could even understand my words between all the deep sobs and gasps for air). He picked me up and we discussed what we wanted to do over lunch (trying not to bust out in tears in a restaurant full of people). Our only option was putting her to sleep. She was in a ton of pain and the doctor didn't think she would live much more than a few more days. I was told I could pick Sable up and bring her home to spend time with over night and bring her back the next day, we could let her live out the rest of her days at home, or we could come in and put her to sleep that day. Chip did not want to bring her home and let her die on a day that I was home alone with the girls. I would have been a basket case and Karlee would have seen it and seen Sable dead. I couldn't wrap my hands around bringing her home knowing that I would have to take her back the next day for what was inevitable. I probably would have never taken her back anyway and would have loved on her at home until she passed. We made the decision to end her suffering that day.

Chip and I spent 2 hours on the floor of a room in the vet's office loving on our sweet Sable. We also decided that Karlee did not need to be there for this. She had played with Sable the night before. Also, before she went to Linda's house that morning, she gave Sable a big hug and told her she loved her. I had pre-warned her that Sable was going to the dog hospital and was very sick. I would find a way to tell Karlee what happened some time before seeing her again that night.

I first thought I did not want to be there when they put Sable to sleep. But, I couldn't bare the thought of leaving her at this time so I ended up staying and held her through the whole process. It was the hardest thing I have ever had to do. Sable was 12 and I got her when she was 4 weeks old. She has been with me through everything. She was my roommate in college and sat in my lap as I studied for countless tests. She slept under the cover down by my feet every night until the day I left for our honeymoon. Chip was firm about not having a dog in the bed! I held her and cried as I watched the 9-11 events unfold. She laid on the couch of my trailer and watched Chip propose. She's been there through all my ups and downs and was always the first one I told any of my news to. She always loved me no matter what and was always glad to see me come home. Sable was attached to Karlee from the instant they met and she was the first one I told when I found out I was pregnant with Madelyn, yes, even before Chip! I had to warn her that another crazy child was going to be a part of our family. And boy was I right about crazy!

There is not a day that goes by that I don't think about Sable (and cry a little). Karlee tells me she misses Sable every day and it's hard not to cry in front of her when she says it. I miss her like crazy. I forget sometimes and look out the back door to check on her or see if her water bowl needs refilling. A co-worker gave me a sweet book called Dog Heaven that I read to Karlee the night we told her about Sable. One part says that dogs in heaven pick clouds to lie on every day. Karlee remembers this part of the book the best. Every morning when we are driving to school, Karlee picks out the cloud that she thinks Sable is lying on. Then she goes on to tell me what she thinks Sable is doing and how many treats she's eaten that day. Every Monday and Friday as soon as Karlee came in the door from school, she grabbed the treat box and headed outside to "fill Sable's tummy." They were truly best friends. I swear every child should have a dog. The bond between a dog and child is truly remarkable.

I picked a few pictures to post for a walk down memory lane.

Sable snuck in our bedroom for a peak at Karlee the first day she came back from being boarded while we were at the hospital. I love this picture. Sable was Karlee's guardian from this moment on.



We had lots of play time with Sable involved.



We used to have a bed in what is now the playroom. Sable would crawl under there when she was tired of Karlee messing with her, and Karlee would follow right behind her!




Telling Sable bye before Karlee left for her 1st day at Parkway Preschool.



Afternoon picnics on the back porch were always a favorite for Sable. She got to snag whatever food hit the ground.



After school treat time. My parent's dog, Molly, was staying with us during this treat time.



Playing chase, even though Karlee was always the one doing the chasing!



Karlee talked to Sable about everything and Sable just sat and listened.



Sable would sit and just wait for Karlee to drop something or to just hand her something.



Sable was moved from inside the house to the back porch before Madelyn was born. Sable shed more than any other beagle I've ever seen. It was all over everything and not getting to clean as often as usual during tax season made us make the big change. I think this is the first picture I took of Madelyn and Sable.




Getting some smooches.



When Madelyn started crawling, it didn't take her long to find Sable on the back porch.




This picture was taken on Sunday, January 1. My sweet, loving Sable. You can see the difference and how much she changed in a short period of time by looking at the pictures with Madelyn.



It was down in the 20's that weekend. We always bring Sable inside on cold nights. Since she was losing gobs of hair and couldn't walk very well, she was in the kennel to protect her. I didn't want Madelyn grabbing her and hurting her more. Karlee sat beside the kennel and pet Sable until it was time for a bath and bed. I think Karlee knew that Sable was really sick.